


The Struggles of Ascending

by space_train



Category: Original Work
Genre: (aka reader has a potty mouth), Angst, Fluff, Multi, Not really direct mentions of romance between characters, Reader is Dead, Reader is a deity, Reader is gender neutral, Some Explicit Language, but reader does get some fluffy moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2018-12-15 01:05:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_train/pseuds/space_train
Summary: The reader, after their untimely death, is blessed with the title of the new god of the underworld.Now what exactly to do with that information, they have no idea.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This story is an experiment I'm doing with a daydream I had at Starbucks, when I should've been studying. I'm not sure if it will interest anyone, not being a part of any particular fanbase, but I felt I might as well put it out there, see if I scratch anyone else's weirdly specific itches. Now, a disclaimer, this story contains a pantheon of gods-including yourself- that are completely fictional and of my own creation. While they may have similarities to any deities from history, it is not my intention to replicate any specific religion's own pantheon, nor to ridicule or besmirch religions of the real world. If you are uncomfortable with this theme, I suggest you turn back now, for I want this story to be enjoyable for everyone who reads it. On that note, enjoy the ride!

_Ascending; Increasing in size or importance._

Now, you weren’t sure about how much you had grown size wise (you hadn’t really studied your new Lovecraftian form in detail yet) but your brand new omnipotence seemed to add quite a bit to your cosmic importance. Not like you could really tell.

Nothing felt like it had changed, you were still _you_ , but now you had reign over the entire realm of the underworld, and complete awareness of every soul that entered it. But according to all others, you _weren’t_ the same.

That was the thing about becoming a god, you don’t really feel different until people tell you you are.

Sure, you still loved thunderstorms, and warm baths, and anything with four legs, but you weren’t (Y/N). You were the ruler of the underworld, with ancient knowledge and a kind of grand presence that brought respect from all those living and nonliving. A being that transpired time and physical boundaries. You were an entirely different per- thing.

You supposed it was a necessary precaution, if the old you had been given the same kind of awareness and knowledge the the new-you has, you would probably had gone insane. This new form was meant to reign in your sanity in a way your human body never could have. Your ascendancy had made you more fit to rule, which you suppose you should be grateful for.

What it _didn’t_ help with was your actual ruling, which, in short, was a total pain in the ass. You had just been handed the custody of the entirety of humanity’s dead, with no prior experience to work on.

Your name is (Y/N), the new and current god of the afterlife, and these were the newfound struggles you encountered after your ascendancy.


	2. #1: Lack of Creativity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) gets an 100% on turnitin.com

The underworld had been a realm self-governed up until you had come along. It was poorly self-governed, but self-governed nonetheless.

Which meant you had _nothing_ to work with.

You were smart enough to install a library in your domain while building your new abode, one that was stacked with every single book humanity has ever made (Library of Alexandria included), and seeing as your god form didn’t require sleep, you had spent a week looking through different law, political, and government books to try and come up with a reasonable arrangement that would help escort souls to their proper afterlife. You had settled on a somewhat judiciary system, one with a divine judge and soul weighing appliance to decide a souls “goodness”. It had multiple, complicated rules due to the sheer largeness amount of dead it received every day, you were pretty sure you could write enough books to fill this library with how convoluted you had made it.

The only thing that mattered to you that it was done, you had finished it, and once it was set into place, you never had to deal with it again. Your eyes burned, your fingers were cramped, and all you really wanted was a nice warm bath.

\----------

“I have to _what_?”

“Well, before a celestial system is put into place, you have to name it. This is so record-makers and possible future worshippers can, well, record it.” You have to give credit to Arius, if you were created purely for the service of naive, new god you would have probably back-handed them a couple times.

“What the _actual_ fuck!” You grabbed your scalp as you slammed your face into your desk, letting out an exaggerated groan.

Like you said, Arius was, uh, “born”, sometime after you had become a deity. He was a joint gift from the God of Creation, who had given you a blessed clay to form a companion, and the God Of Knowledge, who gave you a book on all the rules of being a deity. So, using the only skills you inherited from your sculpting elective in high school, you had mashed the two gifts together and out came Arius, butler extraordinaire. Arius wore a Victorian-era butler suit, tailcoats, and everything, and looked almost like a normal young man, except for the bottom half of his jaw being entirely skeletal and the large horns protruding out of his head.

“I suggest taking another peruse around the library for proper names. Perhaps you could find some ideas from the ancient civilizations you took your other ones from.”

You stared incredulously at Arius.

“Are you implying that I can’t come up with a name on my own?” Arius just blinked at you, no visible response to your offended tone. You probably should talk to the God of Contentment about adding a full understanding of humor to your butler.

“I am simply reminding you that all of your system's components were borrowed from ancient civilizations, so perhaps you should use a name of similar origin.” Damn, that was some pretty solid logic right there. You really couldn’t take credit for most of the ideas for your new system, but gods damn it you had worked hard on compiling that dumpster fire into a workable court. And even if you had basically copy and pasted it like some hack college student who’s too tired to care about plagiarism, you were still respectable enough to at least change a couple things so it could pass as your own. Y’know, like the name and stuff. “Do you wish for me to brew some hot chocolate for you and set up your workspace in the library?” Arius snaps you out of your self-deprecating inner monologue and you just wave your hand dismissively, standing up from your desk and collecting your papers.

“Nah, I’ll be ok. This part shouldn’t take me too long. I’m not _that_ unimaginative.”

\----------

It’s been two weeks.

You think. Time is a human-invented concept, and your time in the underworld, and as a divine being, has made it more and more difficult for you to grasp.

Anyway, this name thing has taken way longer than you thought it would. How did people /do/ this? What kind of sorcery do you have to possess to just stick a name on something and be satisfied with it?

You jerk up when the door to the (Eternal Library? Endless Library? Fuck now you had to think up /another/ name!) library creeks behind you, and Arius peeks his head inside. “Your divineness, your dinner is ready.” Although not necessary, the prospect of dinner sounds enchanting right now, but you know if you leave this library, the stupid court will never have a stupid fucki-

Wait.

You shoot up from your plush chair and rush over to Arius, grabbing his shoulders and shaking them wildly.

“I’ve got it! I’ve got the name!” Staring at you, Arius slowly swipes your hands off his shoulders, takes out his notebook, and clicks his pen.

“Ok, I will add it to the official record. What will the name of this new addition be?” You practically vibrate as you tell Arius your product of 2 weeks of self-reflection.

“The Court.” Arius looks up at you, quirks one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows at you.

“Are you sure about this name?” Fuck, that was a low-key burn. Stick through it (Y/N), you can do this.

“Yes, I’m sure. I mean, are there any court-like systems created by the other gods?”

“No.”

“Exactly! If there aren’t another divine court systems, then that gives me full right to claim the name “The Court”. Plus, even if I did give it some fancy new name, spirits would probably call it the court for short.” You beam at him, proud of your own ingenuity and wit, even adding jazz hands to emphasize how rad this idea was. Arius continues to look at you, unimpressed.

“That name will do.” He scribbles it into his book of officialness and snaps it shut, putting back into his coat pocket. Your slightly disappointed from his lack of excitement, but, his parents were technically some clay, a rules manual, and yourself. “Is there anything else you would be needing?” You shake your head no, and Arius nods and leaves with a bow.

Damn you are dying to get some food. If you’re correct, it was chicken pot pie and mac and cheese tonight, which is a great pre-nap dinner. You are going to relish every single bite of that- “Excuse me your divineness, I forgot to mention that God of Attraction is here. They wish to join you for dinner and discuss some godly matters.”

_Gods. fucking. damn it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1st official chapter done! Plus I got to introduce Arius, just one of the characters I'll be adding into this little story. He'll be more of constant presence throughout the chapters, being your butler and all, but there will be some chapters focusing on him and the relationship he has with the reader. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!!


	3. #2: Product Placement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attraction gives you a lesson on the benefits of properly advertising.

“So, uh, how’s your day going?” _Gods fucking_ , good to know your new omnipotence didn’t get rid of crippling social anxiety.

“Quite fine.” The God of Attraction continues to look at you as you poke at your chicken pot pie, and you feel the beginning of sweat to collect on your brow. They still haven’t touched the plate in front of them.

Meetings with Attraction always made you feel….off. Maybe it was their ethereal appearance which seemed to always be a blur, you could never exactly picture what they look like after they leave, or the fact that they had intimate knowledge of every single thought slightly related to your attraction to anything.

Anyway, anytime they came a knocking, your (metaphorical) heart started racing.

Their eyes had barely glanced over their dish, as they seemed observe every inch if your face, more human than theirs, and probably less ethereally beautiful. “Is the food not to your liking?” They blink at you, look down at their plate, and back up, a (perfectly shaped) eyebrow quirked. “It’s just that you haven’t eaten any so I wasn’t sure.” Their eyes began to blink rapidly and they grimaced, and your heart felt like a weight in your stomach.

“Oh, my apologies, bonding over food is a common human courtesy, I do not mean to come off as rude.” You vigorously shook your head no, gulping down the biteful of pie.

“No! No, I wasn’t-”

“It is my fault dearie, I sometimes forget of your past human disposition. Here, I shall prepare something.” The God of Attraction snapped their fingers and a plate of cut figs, pears, and apples, appeared in front of them.

You could see Arius’s, who stood at the back of room, eyebrow twitch. He quite liked making and serving food, you had often given him extra jobs just to see the way his eyes light up at the prospect, and Attraction’s obvious dismissal of his work seemed to disturb him. You can feel your lips slightly turn down as well, feeling slightly like a bitter PTA mom who just got told her kid’s work is “below average”.

“Manners aside, I do have a reason to visit you.” Oh thank gods, no more small talk. “You see, Knowledge informed me that besides the required records needed for his own personal use, you have not released any documents specific for the material plane.” You needed to write more shit? Why does the plane matter in the first place? If you had to pull another name out of your ass then you swo-

“Do not worry, this can be considered more of a, well, side project.” Now that quiets your internal rant. You see now why Attraction was the one informing you of this, with their persuasive nature. If Knowledge had dropped by and said “One more thing….” you might have broken their hands before they finished speaking. “As you might have noticed, we, as deities, do not _require_ worship. Any belief from those living in the mortal world has little important effect on us. But over the lifetimes, different deities have varied in the amount they decide they interact with the world. For example, Treachery and myself have often put ourselves directly in the affairs of mortals, while Knowledge has decided against direct interaction and instead leaves his texts for mortals to interpret.”

“That makes sense, but what does that have to with my current situation?” Attraction takes a slow bite of a fig, and you can’t help but wonder if they did that because they enjoy the taste or for the dramatic effect.

“While not mandatory, Knowledge simply told me to inform you of this decision so you may decide on the amount of impact _you_ wish to have on the material plane.” Oh, well that’s an easy question. Everything dies eventually, so there is little importance in you having any interaction with people you’ll see anyway. Plus, as nice it would be to have some people respect you, any kind of worship of a death god could possible lead to….messy misinterpretations.

(You shudder at your use of the word “messy” and snap the band on your wrist)

“Gifts are always a nice surprise as well,” Attraction comments as small perfume bottle appears in their hand. It’s pink, and you vaguely catch a scent of roses. Attraction sprays it in the air and takes in a deep breath, sighing with a sort of bliss you have never seen on their face. “New Orleans, Louisiana. I will always be amazed by man's creativity when it comes to the simplest of senses. Roses and nutmeg, who would’ve thought!”

\------------------------

Attraction and you had an awkward 5 minute conversation on what they considered “proper offerings”, which you had cut off when the pie had run out, no longer having an excuse to not talk. After they had left and you had finished off Arius-made cheesecake, he brewed you a cup of sinfully delicious Hot cocoa and you ran to the Library, conjuring up a (hilariously thematic) notebook to write down all the nuances of properly worshipping you.

The cover was decorated with a stylized crow eating some pomegranate seeds, and the offerings you had listed may seem…. juvenile in comparison to the other gods; it was mostly creative bath bombs, any type of chocolate, essential oils, and other miscellaneous things. The only grammar corrections you had made were ones you noticed immediately, not having the courtesy of spell check, and the margins were filled with extra annotations.

Like Attraction said, you didn’t _need_ anything. As a god, you had no human limitations such as an appetite or a circadian rhythm, and all cravings were satisfied by either your own conjurings or Arius.

You still hadn’t really gotten over your conversation with them. Not only had you gone over every awkward moment (“Should have I offered them the cheesecake? Did they know I had the leftover cheesecake? Oh god what have I done.”), but something about their personality switch affected you.

Snapping the band on your wrist was becoming more and more of a habit. So much so that you’ve begun to wonder that, when a millennia passes, you’ll forget why you do it in the first place. That thought shouldn’t be as terrifying to a death god as it is, but your anxiety always skyrocketed when that idea crept into the crevices of your mind.

Ascendancy made you a god, something that you were slowly accepting, as terrifying as it was. While you accepted that an immediate change was made, every day you felt more and more detached from humans. Not apathy, not empathy, but sympathy. Unlike them, with their limited lifetimes where suffering is inevitable, your existence was absolute, never-ending, _perfect_. They were confined to mortal bonds such as death, that so many lost control of their short lives either due to others, selfishness, suffering, sickness, and many more of the worlds cruelties, and you couldn’t imagine surviving in such a misera-

Another snap to the wrist.

You needed some offerings, soon. A candy bar, a shitty YA novel, a cliche shounen anime where the power of friendship prevails. Anything to distract, to remind.

Something to make you feel human again.

“Your divineness, I decided to draw you a bath.. I can keep it warm if you wish to stay in the library longer, but due to today’s taxing nature, I suggest you retire for a while.”

He was probably right, it had been a long day. Overanalyzing was just distracting you from the things that mattered right now, which are,

  1. Taking the longest bath you’ve had
  2. Finding out where the fuck to put this journal.



As much as you desire some offerings, your fear of a random journal stating “How to please a Death God™” showing up in a public library was still rational, so you were gonna have to put this in the hands of someone on Earth you trusted. It couldn’t be your family, you doubt they would take such a thing seriously. None of your friends either; you were pretty sure all of the ones that _did_ believe in the supernatural would burn this book the moment they got their hands on it.

Then who? You wanted, no _needed_ , something genuinely human. Something that isn’t the result of a human/animal sacrifice, preferably.

You look down at the band around your wrist, the date printed in black standing out against the white background.

Oh.

Oh of _course_.

The bookshelves rushed by as you pushed passed the C section into the D, files flying all around as you looked for the correct file. _Aha, there you are you pesky fuck._ A small manilla folder, quite similar to all the others around it, but adorned with a gold star at the top. Grabbing the folder, you rush to the library’s bay window, pushing it open and whistling.

A small undead vulture comes barreling down, squawking as it skirts to a sudden stop, settling and quirking its head to the side.

“Take this to 76 Noddington Avenue, 73611, if you please.” The vulture squawks and grabs the book out of your head, shuffling and then taking off without a fuss. You watch as the bird flew past your domain, over the vast mountain range, the beautiful pomegranate shrubs and strawberry patches that lined the plains, and towards the beautiful maroon sky with its twin moons.

You did good.

You wander out of the library, Arius standing their vigilantly, as he usually does.

“Are you prepared for your bath my lady?” You sign and look at him with a huge burden of your shoulders

“Fuck. Yes. I don’t think I’ve been this anxious since I first showed up here. I’ve done a lot of shit today.” Arius chuckles as he passes you your favorite bathrobe, which you graciously accept.

“Quite. I feel like you deserve to, correct me if I misuse the phrase but, treat yo’self?”

You almost burst into tears (“He’s learned so much!”) but you are able to contain yourself enough to just give him a tired smile.

“Yeah, definitely.”

As you walk to your bathroom, you wonder how long it will take for her to send a gift, and what it may be. Guess you’ll have to be patient.

Well, you shouldn’t have to wait long.

After all, who was quicker to respond to your requests than the woman who killed you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't y'all love when a updates after a long ass period of inactivity, and then the chapter ends with a cliffhanger? Because I do.  
> I've been sitting on this chapter on a while, specificaly because I wanted to write the tone of the last scene just right. The next chapter shouldn't take little less than a year to come out (hopefully), so, until next time! Hope you enjoyed reading!


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